This goes out to all of my younger friends and colleagues who frequent my reflections here. I recently sent the following message to Nicole Sotelo, who is the Call to Action staff liaison to CTA’s 20/30 group (excerpt):
I’m a CTA member, and I’m also a Sister of St. Joseph. (Baden, PA congregation) (You might recognize me as the sax player from the last two CTA Conferences.) For many years I’ve been watching the steady and inexorable decline in many of the women’s religious congregations, including my own. I’ve also had a few conversations with some our young alumni (I teach at Univ. of Detroit Mercy) who have generously given a year or two of service after graduation, and are wondering and looking for that next thing to do before settling down in a more permanent way.
It is clear to me, if not yet to many other sisters, that the form of religious life as we have known and lived it is not the thing many of this generation are looking for, despite our best efforts to find contemporary expressions of our commitment. (I am not as familiar with the trends facing men’s communities.) I still believe there is a place for vowed religious life in the Church and that there will always be some people who are called and who want to respond with that total and perpetual self-gift of their lives to God in consecrated celibacy, but I think this is also an exciting time for dreaming possibilities of new forms of “religious life” that are radically inclusive and that make room for people of all ages, colors, orientation, gender, class, etc.
I know many young adults love and admire the religious they have gotten to know (and those numbers are quickly diminishing), and I can’t help but thinking that because we still look for only women to be members, and only those who have or are open to discerning a life-long call to celibacy, and in some cases, only those who are debt-free and under a certain age, and are willing to stay in the closet if they are not straight, we are missing out on a lot of life and vitality for ourselves, and on a responsibility to be radically available to spiritual seekers of all stripes, being willing to live/pray/work in communities that have vowed and non-vowed, male and female members, that are multicultural, multigenerational, or multi-whatever, perpetually committed, or committed for a finite time, but all striving to live in profound union with a God who is madly in love with each one and who desires that total self-gift in response from each one, in ways and for periods of time that make sense for each person and are appropriate to one’s particular call.
I also recognize that were I to try to articulate my sense of what young adults may be looking for, it would be merely a guess that is affected by my own very different perspective as a 50-ish woman committed perpetually in an institute of consecrated life. So before I go any further down this road of dreaming a new way to bring more people together around our common values that spring from a love relationship with God that impels one to serve others, it would be negligent not to consider the values and desires of those who might be interested in creating something new with me and other sisters and brothers who are passionate about this.
I know the 20/30 “movement” in CTA has been exciting to see unfold, and I am wondering how we as religious women and men can respond to and affirm the new life that is arising in this movement. At our last general chapter, one sister wondered what we might look like if we made a formal and all-out commitment to an “option for youth.” It may be that it is time for us to take a more passive role and just cheer from the sidelines, but I’d like to think that a partnership of some kind that honors the premise that the young adults are the leaders, and that the older religious are just some veteran companions whose wisdom might be helpful at various times would create a win-win scenario.
I wonder if there is some way to begin having these conversations… I am writing on behalf of myself, even though I know that there are like-minded religious out there who are willing to listen to Spirit calling us to something new, even as the existing forms of our life together are crumbing. I do think that the Sisters of St. Joseph Federation and the LCWR and other confederations and congregations of religious would love to get involved as well, but it also seems very clear that Spirit must have space to breathe deeply and in ways that we in previous generations might not readily perceive or might find “cognitively dissonant” with our own experience. I tend to favor a grass-roots approach, which is why I am approaching you before taking it to leadership-type folks and vocation directors. I know some wonderfully affirming and well-meaning religious who are very charismatic and/or highly competent in many arenas. And it would break my heart to see an important movement deferring to a respected elder, when what may be needed is a fresh, new vision that doesn’t first consider the reasons why something will not work, but that dares to dream how it CAN work. In my opinion it is time for the deference to go the other way (remember “option for youth”), and I would be thrilled to just come along for the ride…
I will be at the conference in November, and I come to Chicago several times a year to spend time with friends (usually on weekends.) So perhaps either (or both) of you and whoever else you would want to be present could sit down with me to help me discern what God might be calling me to do with this great passion for what comes next, even as I attend with presence and integrity to the grief that comes with diminishment and death, and the realization that there may not be enough of us left with the openness and energy to engage in the transformation of a lifeform that is no longer viable on many levels.
So I ramble on…you’ll be glad to know that my manner in spoken conversation is more like a sponge than a fire hose…when it is time to listen, as it is now, I do that quite well.
I do hope you’ll talk about this a bit and get back to me about what, if anything, you might be interested in doing with me.
Nicole forwarded this message to the 20/30 listserv shortly after I sent it, and almost immediately I received e-mails from a couple of the list members, and have since heard from several more who are interested in having some conversations about this. We have not yet decided the best vehicle for communication, but I’m thinking of some options to present to the group for their choice…
I’m getting some encouragement from some of the folks to organize a caucus session at the Call to Action conference in November, so will put together a proposal for that. I also thought it would be a good thing to open up the conversation to 20/30 young adults who are not on the CTA listserv, so give me a holler if you want to be in on these conversations.
Peace to all!
As a 22 year old woman seriously considering religious life I would love to join in the conversation! I love the fact that you are even opening it up to discussion. Something that is incredibly frustrating for me is the feeling that the Church doesn’t value me as a young person. What a 60 year old values is not what I value. It’s an interesting thought process to consider how religious life as a whole reflects who is involved, and how that relates to who needs to be involved in order to stay alive as an organization.
Great, K! I’ll add your e-mail to the growing list…soon, I’ll be in touch to ask folks what kind of space (virtual and/or physical) you prefer for these conversations…I suspect that virtual is a given, and face-to-face or phone will be an extra piece for those who are able to connect with kindred spirits in their region or who are able to travel to Call To Action and other events.
Sandy–
You certainly need to reach out to young women but don’t forget the old. Most orders have an upper age limit that does not correspond with a person’s ability to contribute to the community. I think also of the many handicapped women who could bring their labor and special experience of prayer to the community. My own mother was handicapped from polio and is my model of someone who lived fully both in her active and prayer life.
Anne, I get what you are saying…I have to think about this some more. My first thought is that we need to work this from both ends of the demographic, and that the approaches will be different for the two different age groups. The Concordia CSJs have started an Agregee program that seems to have developed as a response to women who are mature but whose circumstances don’t allow them to become a vowed member. Working with young people, my particular passion is for reaching out to young adults.
I’m just thinking that if we could have our cake and eat it too, I would envision an intergenerational community in which the demographic is skewed towards the younger side. A few elders who have wisdom to pass on can go a long way. The current reality is that our younger members are so far outnumbered by those who are older, that their perspectives can get lost in the shuffle, and I think WE lose out as much as they do when that happens.